How To Kill Your Husband

Marty Eteng shares with you on www.calitown.com, a little thought provoking piece that should do all of us some good


The following are things a wife can do against her spouse in order to destroy her marital home and I bet, the choice is personal.

1. DRIVE HIM ENDLESSLY TO JEALOUSY
Before now, your husband should have known about your past, after all, every human being has a past. So incessantly remind him that your former boyfriend is still interested in you despite the many years. Keep your handset in places that he can see the text messages exchanged recently and make the ex call you in your husband’s presence so that he will eavesdrop on some part of your conversation. This would keep your husband trusting your faithfulness while being challenged to realise that he married a queen that is still cherished outside her home.

2. DON’T FEED HIM WELL OR AT ALL
It is no longer a secret that the way to a man’s heart, is through his stomach. Food is very important in the life of everyone and women happen to hold the key to the kitchen, so let him know that all authority under the heaven and earth in the pot lies in your hands by starving him any time he wrongs you. Serve him rudely and carelessly and wait until when it is time for him to eat before you nag out your accumulated grievances. All of this will help the food digest.

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3. DISRESPECT HIM AND MAKE HIM AN OBJECT OF RIDICULE
When your husband does something wrong and you are alone, just make a face and keep mute. Pretend that you were not hurt enough. But wait until any family or friends show up and then mock him in their presence after all that is the time he might be too ashamed to retaliate. Also do not forget to let them know that he is the cause of the challenges facing the family if there be any, because he does not adhere to your wise counsels. This will humble him for good.

4. DON’T STAY SILENT
Don’t die in silence. Report him to all the people that he holds in high esteem; his bosses at the office where he works, his parents and siblings, his pastors, his friends and most of all his children. Don’t forget to tell them everything, even all those secrets that should remain between a couple only.

5. MAKE LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR HIM
Ensure that he does not have breathing space at home. Always attack his opinions, contributions and speeches and tell him just how stupid he has become. Let him know that this is modern day and that since the Beijing Conference, women are the new men at home, and have been granted the same liberties and rights equal to that of the men.Make him see that though your home is Godly, he might be the head but you are the neck. And the head cannot stand without the neck so you are just as important in decision making as he is.

6. EASILY PICK PHYSICAL FIGHTS WITH HIM
After all, the modern or civilised man is not supposed to lay a hand on his wife, so provoke him and push him to the wall by running your mouth and hands all over him. Slap him very hard on the face, ruffle his shirt collar or trousers and destroy his belts. If he is not moved to hit you back tell him those things you alone know will mangle his manhood and prick his pride. And if he is still one of those cowards that will instead pick up their keys and leave the house, then lock the door and throw away the key. Let him understand that if he did not beat you up, then he is not man enough. Then if he touches you shout so loud and break all fragile stuff at home so that the whole neighbourhood cannot ignore the tussle and remain at peace in their homes but will come banging at your door to rescue you.

7. DENY HIM SEX
Women are powerful and men know this. A man’s weak point they say, is in bed. This means that no matter how powerful and callous a man is in the secular, his weakest point might be when it is time to bed a women. So a woman on a mission to humiliate her husband will exploit that vulnerability to the fullest by withholding sex and creating artificial scarcity. Incessantly feign headaches and all other kinds of ailments or just wave your hand at him and tell him you are not in the mood. This will easily drive him into the hands of those desperate willing women laying in wait outside your home. If he is not God-fearing that might be the end of the marriage.

8. THROW AWAY YOUR WEDDING RING
For some men, the wedding ring remains a symbol of fidelity and pride in their spouse. So if he is one of those, always forget to wear the wedding ring especially before you both step out of the house while he is flaunting his. This will definitely send the message of how much you value the union.

9. REFUSE TO CHANGE YOUR NAME LONG AFTER MARRIAGE
The in-thing now is to keep your father’s name after marriage especially when such a name could open doors for you, so if you know the man is the proud type, refuse to change your name or just include one of his names after your former names and no matter how much he cautions. At least this will keep him informed that you have future plans without him.
These are just some of the things some women do either ignorantly or deliberately while praying and waiting for their marriages to stay strong and long. Like it has already been stated in by beginning the choice is yours.

We shall look at how men destroy their homes, shortly

 

Calitown.com note: Marty Eteng sent in this piece from Germany.

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2 Comments

  1. Well “Kill,” might be a bit extreme but this is surely the How to Drive him Crazily out of the marriage! Good one Mart.

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